Originally published June 1, 2015. Editor’s update: Phyllis eventually had to pay to have the couch hacked into pieces and hauled away. The response to the Craig’s List ad quoted below did not garner any takers for the couch, but did result in a number of people contacting me to say how funny the ad was, and (in several cases) that they had a couch like the one described that could also send unwanted house guests packing.

Here’s an ad I wrote for Craig’s List recently about one of the two couches we are trying to get rid of:

Too many folks trying to crash at your place? Let them sleep on this couch and they’ll move on fast! All four of my kids have had their way with this blue couch, and wife now wants to upgrade. It’s not in great shape, note the tear on the right arm fabric, but with a throw over it it still looks half way decent, and I could see it in a man cave or something. Basically, you are getting a wreck—with a width of about six feet. Come take it away for free, and win our thanks!

Not very surprisingly, we’ve had no takers. But it was fun writing the ad copy…